Hi everyone! Today’s topic is the hard aspects (conjunction, square and opposition) between Venus and Pluto in synastry. Now, let us remember that Pluto is a slow moving, generational planet. How the two partners work together does not depend solely on Venus-Pluto hard aspects but other connections between the luminaries and the inner planets as well. And for this aspect we would give an orb of about 5 degrees, strongest felt at 0-3.
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If a platonic or especially a romantic relationship is established then it is going to be an intense one, a relationship that stirs powerful reactions in the people involved, that touches their core. It is a relationship that offers a potential for tremendous soul and growth if there is the maturity necessary. Exhaustion, upheaval and turbulence are going to characterise this difficult bond. A bond that is not only difficult to stay in but also to break, let go of.
But hey, at least you can rest assured the relationship is not going to be a lukewarm one. Be it love or hate, or the so curiously ambivalent love-hate dynamic it is going to be a lasting memory. The participants might be left with insatiable cravings, which with time can lead to extreme frustration. Venus might crave more acceptance and love, Pluto depth and possession. The longing is deep on both sides. Other elements we can commonly see are insecurity, jealousy, possession, power struggles.
Sometimes it is love that is forbidden or looked down upon – the bad boy problem, or a boss/employee; teacher/student relationship; age gaps, affairs – generally relationships that are not socially accepted.
In romantic relationships there is a potential for intense sexual experiences, an attraction on a deep soul level, sometimes that is however not quite enough and the couple will make profit from some compatibility on a purely physical level (Mars-Venus aspects for example). On occasion we can see a resistance to intimacy unless work is done to open to a deep level of vulnerability and honesty.
We must mention that Ebertin describes the Pluto Venus combination as “fanatic love, desire for sensual pleasure. Extraordinary power of attraction” On the plus side “being madly in love with one’s lover, the state of being attracted to a lover by a kind of inner compulsion” The more difficult expression: “extraordinary strains and stresses in love life”
Who is Pluto to Venus?
They are powerful, magnetic, mysterious, intriguing, the manifested temptation itself. Possibly a person that is tabu or at least uncomfortable, unacceptable for some reason. A very different person to what is already known to the Venus person. It represents a challenge to leap (probably in an unknown territory) and a challenge to confront their issues about giving power to others.
Who is Venus to Pluto?
(Remember, that depends also on Pluto’s house and natal aspects.) But Venus is a carrier of the seed of love, something beautiful not of his dark world. A Warmthbringer, especially if the Pluto person experiences difficulties in life. On a more negative note Venus sometimes might be considered as a prize to be won or conquered. Alternatively Venus might seem a bit superficial, lacking in depth. Based on the magnetism present there is still more than enough to make Venus highly desirable to Pluto.
How does Pluto act?
That will strongly depend on the natal chart, the spiritual development of the person and the rest of the synastry. This aspect will not suddenly turn a perfectly calm person into a ball of emotions. But commonly on the outside Pluto might be neutral, aloof and cold. They might be reluctant to show the importance of the relationship. Pluto might know more about Venus than they show. Most importantly Pluto wields power, even if sometimes unconsciously, on one side that can be used in a more positive, transformative way but in reality often is related to some form of manipulation, blackmail, dirty tricks; controlling behaviours and in the worst case abuse.
How does Venus act?
Often, especially when heading into the relationship Venus ignores her own warning systems, ignores red flags. She (or he or they) gives away her power and in this becomes powerless. Stays voluntarily in the cage/underworld but actually holds the key in her hand. Sometimes, especially if overwhelmed, Venus might escape the bond early on. Often on some level she wants to leave the relationship and will eventually do so if it becomes unbearable.
How does Pluto make Venus feel?
Uncomfortable, judged, full of doubts – especially if Venus already battles self-worth or unlovability issues. She feels stuck in the game “he loves me, he loves me not”. Venus goes through irrational fears, esp. of the relationship ending.
Pluto stirs up a lot of Venus’ pain and causes pain, he digs up forgotten parts of Venus. She feels constantly as if getting broken apart and has to glue herself back together. Venus desires his attention and might become obsessive. She wants to be possessed and dominated BUT also intensely fears it. And she is often pulled apart between two worlds, two realities. Venus is forced to deal with stuff that she would prefer not to and would never make the effort on her own.
How does Venus make Pluto feel?
Pluto experiences fear of betrayal, the sense he/she doesn’t love me, at least not as deep as I want him/her to. He is jealous. There is fear of losing the seed of love or in a more macabre situation the prey. Pluto wants to better, tame, control, destroy and rebuild Venus. Pluto might act possessively, especially when Venus starts to slip away. Eventually only at that point the attachment is realised and also admitted to self.
Dynamics that develop:
When Pluto causes pain it might serve Venus to help her heal or she might feel controlled. In response Venus might try to hide and punish Pluto with charm, refusing the depth Pluto craves, getting out of the “underworld” and making Pluto fear that she is not going to come back. A perfect recipe for a good power struggle.
Alternatively Pluto dominates and wants to do so (unconsciously) – Venus relinquishes control BUT Pluto wants complete surrender. Venus might be challenged to give more intimacy than willing or capable. If Venus resists, which she would at least on occasions (remember hard aspects) – there is a potential for frustration, and again power struggles. For Pluto there is a deep confrontation Pluto wants more than Pluto can get. He might try to use the insecurities of Venus to gain control. Venus will initially allow it but when she is fed up with that will eventually use her key and leave Pluto.
In a long term relationship:
It takes great maturity for Pluto to relinquish the desire to control Venus and for Venus to accept Pluto’s depth, power and invitation to transform herself but that is the only way for the relationship to work long term. The aspect can mean an intensely passionate, albeit difficult longterm connection. If both individuals have a healthy self-esteem and there are other positive and caring synastry points it can be used effectively for both in personal growth. Healing and tapping into one’s authentic power through shadow-integration is possible.
The End and the Aftereffects:
Separation is very difficult and painful – staying together is a challenge but so is breaking up
How does Venus leave the relationship: somewhat traumatised but reborn with views and attitudes to relationships generally changed, capable of handling relationships differently, because she has confronted unconscious issues.
How does Pluto leave the relationship: with a sense of loss, Pluto might not feel whole without Venus. It might be felt as quite the hit as often attachment and importance of the relationship are recognised too late.
If you want to get a better idea of a Venus Pluto hard aspect in synastry we advise you to read the myth of Persephone and Hades (Pluto) as it can help understand the astrological delineation and aspects. But Venus, … ‘hey, it’s a tough relationship… but you could be queen of the underworld!’ When Pluto hits your Venus in a hard aspect (conjunction, square, opposition) It is heaven and it is hell and most of the time at the same time. At the beginning often so amazing, terribly amazing and then just terrible.
For the readers that stuck until this point, first of all we admire you, you really want to learn about Venus and Pluto, so we have some observation with Venus- Pluto hard aspects in non-romantic relationships:
Friendships
If the connection is positively lived it will manifest as instant attraction and connection, an instant capacity for deep talks and soul searching. For example- if a Moon Mercury conjunction is also present in the synastry – it will be comfortable to discuss relationships, expand horizons, and acquire new perspectives. It could feel quite magnetic even if platonic.
If this connection is a more negative experience: We can see Pluto wanting to have control in the friendship, uses manipulation, blackmail, Venus might go along for a while, until the manipulation, for example through emotions becomes too much. As with any other relationship, it is probable that the friendship ends at that point.
In parent-child relationships:
Often there is great pain to endure if the relationship is not actively worked on. Some observations: Pluto might be extremely critical of Venus’ appearance; criticizing physical aspects of the body harshly, sometimes even their weight, which they might try controlling with limiting food. This is especially true if Venus is ruling the ascendant.
Venus (if the child) keeps seeing itself as an innocent child confronted by a wolf, a very dark powerful figure, even as a grown up. Venus seeked their approval throughout life and is kind of unable to liberate itself. If that is the case therapy might be suggested.
Pluto as the child may be resentful to the authority and dominance a venus parent has over them, this may express as tantrums and rage which are stronger than normal. Extra care should be taken to recognise manipulative behaviour and correct it. Giving a sense of autonomy and expression of personal will within healthy boundaries might serve as a means to reduce the number of conflicts and power struggles.
Venus as the parent is likely going to have a difficult time unless there are some other supportive synastry aspects. This may be a parent and child relationship that forces the parent to go through significant changes in life, confront their own issues in a very tangible way. Has the potential to foment a very deep and long lasting bond if conflicts can be overcome and managed healthily.
Of course a positive relationship is possible, where the parent has an intense emotional connection to the child and they grow together.
Leave a comment on your Venus-Pluto experiences. Enjoy your relationships and see you next time.
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