When a platonic or a romantic relationship is actually established it is one that feels like pure magic, at least at the beginning. Romance out of a Hallmark movie (if the relationship is romantic). It is a relationship where you lose the boundaries between self and partner. There might be a confusion to who is who and what is what in such relationships.
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For the Sun – Neptune conjunction, square, opposition we would give an orb of about 5 degrees, strongest felt 0-3. Remember if someone’s Neptune is aspecting your Sun it is likely everyone born within a couple of years will have that aspect. How the two partners work together does not depend solely on Sun-Neptune hard aspects but other connections between the luminaries and the inner planets.
The Sun in astrology generally represents: ego, sense of self, life force, vitality, your will to live along with your dharma or sense of purpose. It can represent figures of authority and leaders. Most positively it expresses as those who live aligned with purpose and provide the light, warmth and resources to support themselves and others around them.
Alternatively, a negatively expressing sun can be somewhat domineering or lacks the positive qualities the sun represents. Neptune on the other hand is the illusionist, master of magical tricks, someone who seems to represent everything a person has dreamed of, it represents murky characters, people with addictions or deceptive characters. The most positive expressions are people who are highly spiritual or dedicate themselves to selfless service.
The combination of the two brings great sensitivity but also weakness in the rapport. There is enthusiasm, a lot of it happens in the mind, the imagination plays a huge role. This relationship can make you crave the other person like a drug. Often this is accompanied by self-deception and moodiness. There can be distraction, retreat from the world and false perceptions of perfection. This can however provide important processes of change and growth in the topics that the planets represent, only if the dynamic is handled carefully and with sufficient degrees of realism maintained.
So who is the Sun to Neptune? (as always it depends on Neptune’s house and natal aspects as well)
- Light (vitality, self), the essence of Sun captivates Neptune, they might find themselves drawn to the Sun’s person temperament
- The Sun reveals to Neptune the best version of who they can become. Neptune can see their better self reflected and highlighted by the Sun’s light.
- They may seem to embody authority and honour, perhaps standing out as exemplary in some area of life.
- They may appear to be a source of warmth, joy, and inspiration.
- The Sun in a more negative scenario can look like someone easy to be led into questionable or dubious affairs, not in his own interest. Easy to be misled, deceived or seduced.
- Negatively, the sun person may appear overly self-interested or rigid. There may be the sense that they need to be in charge and Neptune runs the risk of feeling victimised or is drawn to self sacrificing behaviours to fit the sun’s mold.
Who is Neptune to Sun?
- Often they embody an ideal of the Sun person – might seem like the a romantic ideal, the ideal husband, the ideal friend etc. They look perfect in the eyes of the Sun, seen through a lens of hope, fantasy and aspirations. (at least for a while)
- A mystery or enigma that needs to be solved – someone who intrigues and perplexes them, who they see only through a fog of some kind – the fog can have different expressions – illusions, self-deception, deliberate deception on part of Neptune or even more simple ones like meeting in virtual reality, coming from a very different backgrounds etc.
- Someone who encourages them to be and behave in a more inspired manner.
- Mysterious or mystic, vague, somewhat puzzling or enigmatic. Someone who embodies an affinity with the spiritual realms.
- As someone who understands them and has compassion for them (can be so, but not necessarily to the extent imagined)
- A challenge to hidden insecurities, having to face parts of self that one might have had illusions about or have been avoidant about.
- More negatively – a very disappointing person, a deceiver or someone who is untrustworthy or unreliable.
How does the Sun experience the encounter?:
The Sun is enchanted by Neptune, this often involves a deep sense of admiration, fascination, or awe. This can manifest in various ways: Finding the other person beautiful: They may be captivated by the other person’s charisma, or grace. Every gesture or glance seems special. They are drawn to inside beauty as well: Their charm, wit, kindness, or unique qualities hold an attraction. This connection may feel unique. Or feeling under a spell: The experience of being with the other person may feel transformative, as though they bring a spark of magic or joy into everyday life.
In a positive relationship the Sun feels invited or sometimes even challenged to develop its spiritual side, this can happen through feeling inspired and motivated through the other, as though the other elevates their thoughts and makes them see things differently. Neptune can share insights that expand the perspective and lead to the seeking of deeper understanding. This can also manifest as an encounter which invites the sun to dissolve existing structures in their life and identity or cultivate new creative avenues. There can be feelings of kindness, compassion and invitation to mindfulness that invite the Sun to live his own truth and express freely.
With hard aspects the more often developments are those in a more difficult, negative relationship, or sometimes just on a later stage of the relationship – there are feelings of disappointment, a breaking down of the perfect image and what is left behind is mostly painful reality. This often carries a weight of unmet expectations and broken trust.
Often it is the sense of silent let down that is creeping in – the gap between what was hoped for and what actually delivered. Sometimes the Sun feels they have lost something they can’t fully grasp the extent of. There can be a sense of having lost their purpose, their direction or sense of who they are. While this can be managed in a way that helps the Sun to change, it is undeniably a difficult experience and process to go through.
How does Neptune experience the encounter?
They often find themselves as magicians on stage, under the spotlight. As such they are likely to experience a complex mix of states, depending highly on the natal placement of the planet, their general personality (remember the natal chart is always strong), what other touching points there are in the synastry, and what is the significance they contribute to this relationship:
However there will be a certain excitement, as the thrill of performing can be invigorating, if the Sun reacts positively to their efforts to create “magic” (in all senses already discussed) then there is a certain accumulation of excitement and energy. Neptune could feel they get recognition for their selflessness, spiritual endeavour or creative inspiration.
This leads Neptune to feel drawn to embodying their spiritual side, desires to be of service to the sun and others being emphasised. The challenge can come with Neptune becoming wrapped up in being the ideal and feeling the need to hide the parts of themselves which aren’t perfect. Along with the unsustainability of neglecting the darker sides of who we are, this can lead to further fears or anxieties that the Sun could manage to see through these efforts.
Dynamics that develop
Often there is a certain idealisation on one or both sides, an overlay of a perfect mental image over an imperfect messy normal human personality with all life experience they bring. Seeing the best in someone is of course great, but if people are put on a pedestal of infallibility the only sure thing is they will, at a point, fall from grace. In this relationship it is hard to keep both feet on the ground and perceive the more difficult and harsh potentials that each and every human interaction brings.
So it is highly advisable with all relationships having a heavy Neptune involvement that there is an effort to maintain a connection with the “real world” / in the form of paying attention to what people who matter to you say about the relationship and also any red flags that are noticed get taken seriously.
Also be wary of putting unrealistic expectations on your partner, as this as well is highly likely. Remember it is difficult to remove those rose-coloured glasses – however they are also the spring of strong romantic feelings, which can have their allure. Of course in a more positive scenario there is a huge amount of inspiration for personal development in different areas of life, it might feel like the life essence is being watered and its different colourful sides might be shown to that person and later to the world, the imagination might be very active and produce different beautiful results in the process.
In more spiritual connections there is the possibility to feel connected to each other on a deeply intuitive almost telepathic connection, where you feel the moods and sensations of the other person very strongly. This allows for compassion and empathy to grow. There might be a sense of deep care for the other person, but on occasions for the Sun it might be at a cost – sacrificing their own vitality or straying from their own path to be of support.
In a Sun Neptune relationship one is often prone to seeing the best possible version of the other person. This often leads to them falling in love with the image and wanting to do whatever necessary to “help” the other get there and achieve their best self. This is one of the reasons for the sacrifice dynamics mentioned. However it rarely succeeds
When mentioning sacrifice – it is possible that especially the Sun lose their sense of identity in the midst of being involved with Neptune’s magic. For both there is a possibility of co-dependency and all the dynamics that come out of it. It is one of those relationships where you lose track of time and if taken out of the situation might feel like someone woke you up from a dream.
And indeed even if the dream is beautiful it brings a tendency to avoid confronting the practical side of life. Some might even avoid the responsibility that the relationship itself brings, but this will be more dependent on the natal chart. However for many this relationship is like a safe haven, where they can escape from the outside world and even their own inner processes. It is always advisable though to confront the problems one has and look for a balance between the magic and the reality (which with hard aspects can be quite difficult).
But for many it is also a place of confusion, not knowing clearly where they stand and why exactly they stand there. Lack of clarity in the form of mixed signals, indecision or just not knowing or respecting each other’s limits is possible. Neptune might prove an elusive and inconsistent partner.
The End and the Aftereffects:
Great magic is often connected to great disappointment but of course it is possible, even if less likely, for positive expression to prevail. There are no sudden endings to Neptune relationships – often there is an accumulation of small disappointments that lead to silent pain over a long time. It takes quite a bit to arrive at the recognition that the relationship is not the best for the parties involved and even then it might be somewhat difficult to let go and release the magic or the hopes thereof.
It is often related to experiences of mutual pain: The person who caused the disappointment may be weighed down by guilt or regret, creating a loop of emotional pain. Both sides feel the loss of something precious—whether it’s trust, admiration, or shared happiness. Both parties might have found themselves weakened to a point in the relationship where they feel somewhat incapable of acting and breaking the cycle of illusions and promises followed by disappointment. The relationship can also create sufficient confusion of purpose that leaving is difficult because one cannot see clearly what they would do without it.
Going into the world blindly is a challenge and can require a great amount of will power to make it happen. More often than not the natural process prevails and, though it takes time, waking up eventually happens. Relationships like that often need a grieving period, as not only the relationship itself is being released but also the ideal of what could have been. One remains quite vulnerable after that relationship as the breaking of an illusion often leaves one feeling exposed. Even if this is painful at the beginning it can be used to develop more empathy with other creatures and even foster self-acceptance.
The process of letting go of illusions has great benefit from both a spiritual and worldly angle and once the process is complete the individuals, particularly the sun, may find that the erosion of self that had been undergone during the relationship has helped them to leave behind other elements of their identity which don’t serve them in the long run. Neptune may have left with a greater sense of the self-defeating or victim tendencies they have, along with the personal illusions they may have been perpetuating.
Identifying them gives the opportunity to work on them in the future that is before them. This dissolution of elements of self will also likely necessitate the rebuilding of certain fundamental elements of identity, like self-confidence and personal passions – the recovery of certain elements that were lost or neglected during the relationship.
Longterm:
Relationships with high Neptune involvement rarely offer happiness long term – it is always a mixture of the dynamics described but if a lot of awareness is practiced it is possible that on the shared journey they share practices, or philosophies that resonate deeply, offering each other tools and insights that help connect with the more spiritual, elevated side of life.
Be warned if awareness isn’t being practiced and actively cultivated as many unconscious tendencies can take hold with unhealthy dynamics beginning to dominate the relationship. For some even if it is there is a high risk of co-dependency, so be especially mindful if you know you are prone to it.
To help things to last and continue in a healthy, balanced manner it can be very useful for couples with strong Neptune placements to seek external help as the illusions and the fog can be hard to pierce through. Various forms of counselling may help by allowing someone who isn’t under Neptune’s spell to see things from a more objective standpoint and relay important information to the people in the relationship. At the end of the day, synastry is always a balance of many factors and this aspect can be a piece of the puzzle that does fit. The sacrificing of egoic impulses, embracing spiritual devotion or even the illumination of self-defeating tendencies can all serve as ingredients that do make a particular relationship work.
Friends and Family
When it comes to friendships we see a lot of similar themes come up but fortunately the intensity is diminished somewhat. There can be more benefits enjoyed but there can be a sense of disappointment nonetheless. A key to friendships is often understanding what is reasonable to expect from the other person and this judgment can be impacted, leading to one’s expectations not being met. Negative traits like deception can still come up so be aware of that and it is perhaps not a friendship that one may not wish to deeply depend upon but it may shed light on important aspects of yourself or help you to practice selflessness.
The key is always in balance and finding the healthy level of proximity and dependence in any of life’s varied relationships. For the Sun this friend may help to dissolve certain obsolete parts of the ego and open them more to a deeper, spiritual connection with who they consider themselves to be. Neptune can also have their spiritual side energised by this interaction.
When it comes to parent-child relationships Neptune’s tendency towards selflessness and unconditional love can be a real benefit as this is one of the few kinds of relationships where it is most healthily experienced. We can look at a few of the possibilities of what might come up though.
If the parent is Neptune and the child is the Sun there is a risk that the parent can be neglectful of certain aspects that are important for the child. Not necessarily through any malice but a lack of awareness or understanding of the needs of the child. It can also benefit the parent, strengthening the impulse to make necessary sacrifices for the child. Generally it is good to watch for either end of the extreme here. It’s good so long as it is kept in a healthy balance as overindulging a child is unlikely to produce beneficial results for either one, similar to neglect. Interference from the parent can also make it more difficult for the child to understand their path in life.
The other way round, Neptune child, Sun parent – the parent is able to cultivate compassion and spiritual outlooks in the child’s life. Unfortunately this may come as a result of the parent over prioritising themselves over the needs of the child. There could be a sense that the child is dissolving the sense of identity that the parent formerly had, which is a normal part of the process of parenthood but hard aspects could indicate this is a more difficult experience. This can also mean the parent must face the more mischievous or deceptive side of the child. Manipulation is a natural process in any child’s development and this parent likely needs to be a bit more attentive to these patterns to support healthy corrective measures by not giving in to any of these behaviours.
We hope what we have shared gives you some perspective and helpful information to navigate the vast ocean in the best way possible. We’re also here to help, if you need a more in depth analysis of your situation you can book a reading with either of us on our website in the description below.