How can astrology really be used effectively to help guide and support your relationships and love life – we’re going to be aiming to give you the answer today.
If you’re wondering why you keep dating the same type of person, well, your seventh house can give you clues about that. And if you wonder why everyone is married and you’re not yet, the ruler of the seventh house can give you a lot of information about that. Basically, it’s important to start with your natal chart and priorities are super important in astrology.
It’s easy to get lost in this most discussed subject due to its generally really high emotional impact: you experience all the emotions from joy to heartbreak. Relationships we know are also a mirror where we can look ourselves into and we often have unrealistic expectations created through society and the media just growing up.
It’s definitely not easy to get a grip of the subject. This has really motivated us for this video because there are a lot of clients and generally astrology enthusiasts that really focusing a lot on transits and synastry connections and there can be a tendency to completely ignore the natal chart. And this is ironic because it’s the one that’s most likely to give an answer to the most pertinent questions that people have about relationships.
If you want to know about your relationship life you really do need to start with understanding yourself at a deeper level. It can’t be emphasized enough that so much of the unfolding and the decisions of who you connect with are firmly rooted in those dynamics. It can also explain why you’re drawn to a certain type of a person or certain type of dynamics that other people don’t get to experience because it’s personal to you often.
And only then can we move on to timing techniques that can help to determine time periods where relationships are more likely to start for you and also which time periods can bring what kind of relationships. And only then after having an experience in a relationship, the comparability between two people can be judged by a synastry chart. But this is most useful in an already established relationship as a tool for working on problems. More on that in a minute.
Astrologically your natal chart is the strongest determinatalr for the kind of relationship experiences that you’re going to be having through your lifetime. Now, your ascendant is the one of the most important points because that’s showing how you’re going to be presenting yourself to potential partners. And recognizing that can be very helpful because some people don’t necessarily have a clear image of how they project themselves to the world. They understand themselves internally, their ego, but this superficial projection to the world is sometimes more difficult for people to to get a handle on. And that’s especially true if the persona you project is quite different to the person you are inside because that can often happen.
And then there is the descendant which is of course the opposite angle of the ascendant – which is descriptive of the kind of partnerships you’re most likely to experience; if you’re likely to experience marriage. The seven house planets can give a lot of additional information about that. For example, if you have a moon in cancer in the seventh ruling the seventh house, you’re going to experience a very different relationship compared to having Saturn as the ruler of the seventh house fallen in Aries. This is going to give a more difficult kind of relationship compared to a strong moon.
We can also consider if they’re prominent outer planets like Pluto, Neptune, Uranus these can as well color a lot the kinds of experiences that we have in relationships and they tend to be indicative of some of the more difficult kinds of experiences that can be faced in a relationship dynamic.
The ruler of the house is also incredibly important. Looking at the ruler can show how things will turn out in the long term particularly. So seeing whether that’s in a good position, a strong position, or if it’s weak in some way, whether through essential dignity or accidental dignity, depending on signs and houses, all of these things will also factor into how the experience of partnership will unfold.
And there are a lot of other points that need to be considered in a natal relationship reading like the moon sign – which shows us generally in all areas of life how we can achieve a deeper satisfaction and happiness that really resonates with us. Venus, Mars and also the fifth house ruler for relationships. Learning about self and how one acts in a relationship is crucial in understanding our behavior patterns in that area of life. Generally things like which houses are emphasized for you, which aspects are there that are easy, which are more challenging, what are the different signs and planetary considerations you have going on. All of these can be put together to paint a picture that really gives an opportunity to understand yourself and how you relate on a deeper level.
And it can sound scary if you find out that you have a difficult seventh house ruler. But generally time and work on oneself can do a lot in recognizing the patterns we are prone to follow. So it’s important to understand and prioritize them over transits and synastry. It’s also important to note that with difficult placements, there’s a tendency for things to just take a bit longer to manifest and because of potentially the work that does need to be done as a preparation. Just because something looks challenging or difficult, don’t discount it, things can still happen in a positive way with the right attention and awareness put towards it.
So really knowing your tendencies will also mean potential for effective communication in relationships which really can help both individuals to know what can be expected and what might surface in the course of a relationship. Let’s say you have Saturn in the 7th – Saturn could indicate certain coldness aloofness. So being aware of that can be helpful in preparation.
The challenges and the difficulties that you face really develop skills for it (a relationship) to be more successful later on in life. For some, alternatively, it can give them the long needed excuse to center on other life areas if that’s their desire. Because sometimes we’re pursuing a relationship just because it’s the social expectation, but we actually have other strong points in our lives that are more well meriting our energy and our time. And that’s actually where we are drawn to, where our force flows towards.
Really getting to know your emotions and understanding how easy or hard it is to find satisfaction in relationships can really help by assisting in managing the expectations you might have. It can also give ideas on how to manage certain conflicts that could come up. And generally finding the courage to state and declare your emotions.
And only then after you have understood yourself better is it worth exploring when the likelihood of relationships forming is a bit stronger. There is such a thing as the right person wrong time and the wrong person right timing and with that transits can help. So with transits look to see what planets in your chart are being activated by this transit which can give you insight into what the encounters we are having are inviting us to examine and develop. Aspects to the 7th house planets and its ruler can be good indicators for relationship opportunities especially by trine and sexile. However, this depends on the intrinsic nature of the planet and the role and function it performs in the natal chart. So, it’s a bit more complicated than that. Progression and solar arcs can give important information as well, but it’s best combined with transits and other techniques.
Understanding the whole picture of the time and how it influences you can give you clues about if it’s a good moment to go in and invest into a relationship or if it’s better to invest in another area of your life at that current moment.
Let’s say you are in the situation where you want to establish a relationship. Remember sometimes we actually need to learn through the process of relating and to really understand ourselves by looking into that mirror that another person can present to us. So in this sense even unrequited love or a short relationship is a development and can really prepare us for the bigger and more important relationships that come in the future. So it’s important not to miss out on these small lessons because we risk arriving at the “real” relationship, we’re aiming for, less prepared. So it can be beneficial to go through the experiences and take out the lessons so you can apply those in the future.
As a dear friend says, with them or without them, meaning a potential partner, you got to live through it for you, which of course is not an invitation to throw yourself without thinking at the first person that you see, but to be open to what life brings and to live it consciously.
And we come to the last level – compatibility with another person which is shown through synastry. And here it gets really complicated as there’s so much that you can pay attention to, so much you can interpret. If you want to know if there’s any likelihood for longer term interest,
things like sun placements can denote attraction, the relationship of the moon, the capability to relate on a deep instinctual level. Looking at the sun and moon are quite fundamental. But then we come to all the relationships between the angles, Venus, its prominence, the aspects to Mars. So you create a very complex picture through the synastry and you need to have a very strong handle on astrology and be quite developed in your
practice to be able to handle two charts at once. This is why it can become more of a confusion for people and actually create more problems rather than if they were just focusing on their own personal chart. It’s well worth spending the time getting to know yourself as much as you can.
And there are relationship challenges also shown in the synastry chart in aspects coming from Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto to the most important points in the chart. Those aspects are not necessarily the most important part. And we often see that a lot of people center exclusively on those more difficult connections and try to analyze relationships before they have even happened. That can bring a certain kind of obsession (in case of Pluto) or just a choice to be staying out of life which is not necessarily productive,as you go through those processes even if the actual relationship never ends up being formed.
So it’s not necessarily the best way to live a certain aspect and it also misses the point of having connections between more personal placement, which is quite important and above all the understanding of you as a person in a relationship which is crucial. We form relationships to mirror ourselves and to experience ourselves.
It is also important to mention that even all these difficult aspects from planets like Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, all of these have a reputation of bringing difficulties, but there can also be positive sides to having those more intense placements. We need a bit of Saturn to keep things together, a bit of Uranus to keep things interesting. Neptune to really see things from a dreamy perspective and Pluto to give us the opportunity to actually change and adapt, transform, break down old things to allow new structures in a relationship to form. So all of these can serve a positive role.
Jumping to conclusions can be detrimental at times. The point is astrology in its best form helps you manage life, helps you improve. So understanding the patterns your natal chart holds for your relationship and learning how you can grow through that is great. You can use it as a tool, not a rule.
So if you’re prone, for example, to rose-colored glasses, then you can be more aware of that and just listen more to advice from friends or close people who mean well to you and take things more slowly. If you’re prone to being impulsive, just finding a partner that doesn’t mind last minute changes can go a long way. It really comes down to learn about yourself so you can work on finding that balance between you and others. Patience becomes an important factor with these kinds of topics because let’s say destiny …fate… providence, whatever you want to call it, has a role and these things can’t be rushed and there’s nothing like relationships that really convinces us of let’s say the predetermined elements of life.
There are indeed better periods for starting them or even working on them. But a lot of the time we’re not really in control as to when these things will unfold and even the opportunity to start something will be presented to us.
And in considering compatibility, it’s quite important to not exclude or include people because of their birth charts. Just let the relationship unfold. And when it reaches a point where support is needed, then work with the charts together as a basis of communication. It’s a way to understand each other and grow together and a key to acceptance and above all every relationship has its purpose.