You have probably clicked on this article because you’re facing some kind of difficulties in your relationships. So, let’s see what solutions astrology can offer to some of those. Open your chart and check if you have any of the placements we discussed below and see what solutions we can offer for that.
And it’s an important point to make that if you find that these planets are also conjunct the ruler of the seventh house, we can see similar things going on.
Neptune in the 7th
Today we’re starting with Neptune in the seventh house. Neptune is a difficult planet for relationships because it’s involved with a lot of sacrifice. It’s the planet of the rose-tinted glasses. It’s when we have to suffer disappointment, codependency, but we also tend to see a lot of potential in our partner that never gets quite lived out. We basically see a mirage or a dream being presented to us and it might be quite difficult to manage.
Neptune can bring themes of sacrifice, disappointment, not seeing things clearly. Once you know that this is a potential predisposition, that’s already the first step in how you can manage and deal with it. So, it’s good to know that if you have this placement, it could be potentially difficult to balance things and put yourself first.
Now the positive side of this placement will be that romance and devotion in relationships can really be a prominent theme and they can at least partly give this sense of magic which can be an important ingredient for relationships to really kick off and it really comes down to how you manage it and that’s with awareness. So really keeping that sense of awareness, knowing your limits, knowing the boundaries particularly and how to maintain them is crucial for Neptune in the 7th house. Really making an effort to not cross the line and learning to say no and resisting when let’s say a partner is encroaching on your boundaries because Neptune has a tendency to make those boundaries unclear.
So increased communication regarding this topic will also be incredibly helpful. You can also choose to practice like a more conscious uh approach to dating. For example, do a couple of dates without physical touch. Remember, no person is perfect. You’re not, but everyone else isn’t either. And before committing yourself strongly to a person, it’s advisable to introduce the person to your trusted friends or family members and be open to their opinions.Just having the awareness but also allowing the outer world to give you feedback to what this relationship can bring for you is quite important with Neptune in the seventh.
Also speaking about people not being perfect, one thing that is important to mention with this placement is the tendency to put people on a pedestal and have unrealistically high expectations of the other people, which could very quickly lead to disappointment. So, I just wanted to really emphasize the importance of keeping those expectations within the realm of reality because it’s very easy that these things can get a little bit excessive or ungrounded.
Another thing to potentially watch for are enabling behaviors, so if necessary, you speak about this with a therapist. Just be mindful of the potential that there might be to enable your partner and also look for dynamics with your partner that are enabling certain things in yourself that aren’t necessarily healthy.
And always remembering that recognizing the potential in others is an amazing quality to have. But it is their job to achieve it, not yours. So being supportive and making a difference between being supported and doing the work for someone. You have to make sure that it is them that are doing the work and not you that are doing the work for them.
And one more thing with Neptune, it kind of can be tricky to leave a relationship that is already past its due date. So, if you feel those urges, consider them seriously.
Pluto in the 7th
We can move on and we’ll have a look at the second placement which can bring a fair bit of difficulty and that is when Pluto is in the seventh house. This immediately brings up topics like issues relating to power dynamics and the balance of power. That could either be giving one’s power over to the partner or having a very powerful partner. So if Pluto’s in the seventh house that can also indicate a partner who can be quite let’s say magnetic and attractive but also with the potential to be controlling. So that is something to potentially look out for.
For you that might mean that long-term relationships can be enjoyable and have staying power but can also prove to be quite difficult or generally it can be that you have a certain resistance to forming relationships.
Issues of control and manipulation are common or it is expressed just as insecurity, possessiveness in the relationships but those are some of the relationships which offer the most potential for soul growth as well.
It’s a point to really consider that the relationships which are the most challenging, the ones that really push us, do have that flip side of potentially helping us to grow and confront some very deep underlying elements of ourselves and our own patterns and give us the opportunity to break away from those.
Now I guess if we’re looking at solutions to this kind of placement, one thing that is very important to maintain at all times is a very open communication and setting clear boundaries and things like decision-making processes need to really incorporate the opinions of both. Decisions need to be made together. No choices without the input from the other person, especially if it’s influencing both people. And this is related to the need to keep an eye on those power dynamics.
If there’s a tendency for one to be giving power away to the other, that’s already setting the groundwork for potentially toxic things to develop down the line. For you it’s especially important to um be somewhat self-sufficient in the relationship. For example, don’t give up your job and friends for your partner. It is important for both to avoid that one has financial, emotional, social control over the other.
And if you ever have to deal with more difficult relationship dynamics, it is for you particularly advisable to invest in therapies because it can be a very productive process.
Uranus in the 7th
So that brings us to our third placement that can cause a bit of trouble for people and that is when Uranus is in the seventh house. The first thing that can come up with Uranus in the seventh is that the relationships can be quite unsettling, somewhat uncomfortable and create a sense of a lack of security. Those are the relationships that often end unexpectedly or can offer just a general sentiment of feeling unstable, being in a rocky situation.
It brings a lesson with it to encourage you to be less attached and dependent on significant others. But it is a lot of turmoil in the relationship life which not all of us enjoy. It does highlight the need to develop that respect for freedom and independence of each individual within a relationship and really learning that lesson of how one can enter into a deep intimate connection but still maintain that strong sense of self.
Now if you think positively about this placement, it can talk about you attracting people in your life which are generally quite unusual, unconventional, could be a bit of a rebel and this could also manifest as an unconventional style of relationships. This could be with someone who already has children for example. It could also be being open to relate to those who have very different lifestyles. You know, looking into social networks where people tend towards alternative rather than traditional values might increase the opportunities to meet someone that you do resonate with if you have this placement.
And above all, remember freedom and maintaining one’s own individuality is likely the most important part in relationships like that, for them to be viable longer term. If you try to suffocate a partner or if they’re too suffocating to you – this kind of relationship with Uranus in the seventh they just can’t function.
Modern astrology associates Uranus with technology and among other things astrology. So you can also try to meet people through social media apps or even better connect with a local astrology community.
Saturn in the 7th
The next more difficult planet in the seventh house is Saturn. Saturn often presents difficulties in relationships forming or relationships coming into being very late in life or just later than for the general public. It also comes with partners that can be a bit more aloof, colder. However, if Saturn is in good dignity, it can represent the positive possibility for a long-term serious stable relationship.
Some of the solutions for Saturn, for example, are to be open for older partners or people who seem more sober, distanced on first glance. Really thinking about what Saturn embodies – that could be people who are very responsible as well, who take on that responsibility in their career or they have some kind of authority as well. These are all things that you might find manifesting in the people that you do end up having a relationship with.
You might find that there is a sense that relationships are being restricted or being denied or are a source of obstacles and challenge when Saturn is associated with the seventh house. And this might be a situation where some people ask themselves whether you need to go through that or perhaps there’s another area of life in which you feel much more passion, you feel much more reward coming from that area. Saturn can deny relationships at times. So, it’s good to really feel what it is that you truly want. And perhaps Saturn is helping us by limiting what we can do, so that we don’t have this endless choice of the infinite possibilities of a lifetime and we can just focus on those things that we do want to be doing.
And so the important thing to always bear in mind is if you do want to make it work with Saturn, you’re going to have to put in the work. And also don’t be discouraged, bring a lot of patience with you and expect delays because they’re normal with this placement. And the good thing is the situations generally improve as one ages. So hope is basically never lost.
Mars in the 7th
That brings us to the fifth placement and here we have Mars in the seventh house – this can indicate potentially explosive relationships. There can be plenty of conflict, verbal or even physical and in general a competitive dynamic with the partner and the potential for battles of will.
A good way to work with that is to make the competition healthy. Run together, find your passions and follow them together and apart. So you can enable this feeling of challenging each other in a more progressive, positive light. And it’s really crucial for you to spend time apart with your partner and just pursue your own objectives, whatever they might be.
You might also find that you’re attracted to quite strong personalities. So make sure you can handle assertiveness. And interestingly it depends on the natal chart. But you know this might be because there’s something to learn from the other person in this area of life.
But in general try avoiding impulsive commitment. You know getting married after two weeks is generally a bad idea in 99% of cases. And Mars can bring that impulsiveness. So be aware of that and if necessary take steps to mitigate it.
Sun or Moon in the 7th
Our next more difficult placement is one of the luminaries, Sun or Moon in the seventh house – which is not that bad per se but can show a tendency to just overemphasize the importance of relating and the opinion of the partner. So one can enter potentially a relationship without enough experience and become overly reliant and overly dependent on the partner with time.
The solution to this is to make sure you’re independent before entering in a relationship and to make an effort to achieve a state where you value yourself at least as much as you value your partner. So, it is possible to just be emotionally over involved. You could say that’s very normal when we start a relationship but in the long term you know there’s a tendency for that to dissipate somewhat and it’s a healthy part of let’s say stabilizing the relationship.
The Ruler of the 7th
Our last placement is all about the 7th house ruler. So this is really for people who are better versed with astrology, who have more experience as one needs to have quite a firm grasp of many aspects of technical astrology. So if that’s you then let’s move on and look at this very important understanding that we need to come to – to find the seventh house ruler is not in the best placement.
What does it mean when we say not in the best placement? That could mean that the seventh house ruler for example is essentially debilitated in detriment or fall. And that means for us that relationships are more difficult to follow and the quality of the partners might not be optimal. They might be perceived in some sense as weak or useless. For example the couch potato husband, the always-on-the-phone-with-the-friend wife. It’s just someone who might be there but doesn’t fulfill our needs or the relationships that we form can bring some hindrances or disadvantages with them.
An important lesson to take away from that is really about how no single person will fill all the criteria that one would expect and hope from a relationship, so accepting the difficulties coming from a relationship are going to be there is an important step. Just accepting that many aspects of one’s life are not going to be catered for in their romantic relationship is going to be a liberation. Once you get to understand that maybe you can’t depend on your partner for serving and supporting many of your needs then you will find a way to fill and support those needs through other interactions and engagements with people.
Another potential more difficult expression is when the seventh house ruler is accidentally weak. That means for example cadent – in the 3rd house or the 9th house – which might just mean difficulties in getting to know a partner, not many opportunities to meet a partner.
For example, if your ruler is in the third house – a solution can be to be actively engaged in your immediate environment, which will provide more chances of meeting someone. Or if it’s in the ninth house, engage in travel, in working in a spiritual group of some sort, whatever is of interest to you. Engage in further studies and be open to people from foreign cultures.
There are two other cadent houses which are important to mention. We have the sixth house and with this house there might not be that many opportunities to meet a partner and there is a potential for partners who are kind of the source of their own self undoing. The potential there is also to meet partners who are already in committed relationships.
Another expression can be a partner who is spiritual, which can also mean somewhat withdrawn and maybe not that present in daily life. Now it can be difficult to remedy some of these but one example might be if you engage in volunteer work and you find a way to serve your community you might also be coming across the right kind of people who will have that service oriented life philosophy that will resonate with yours or it can indicate relationships that form with employees or generally people you engaged with while providing a service.
So it is important with that placement to remember to have firm limits again and also honor your values and priorities in life. That can help quite a bit when it comes to the final cadent house – the 12th, as well. It’s a bit like the 6th – we’re seeing that opportunities to meet someone might be somewhat diminished. There could be potential difficulties around the partnership if there are other aggravating factors.
So what is the solution to having the seventh house ruler in the 12th? Well, there might be a need to engage in a lot of deep self-reflection and work on your spiritual side or engage in therapy, going into the subconscious to really understand what’s going on there. And also maybe even seeing things from a karmic perspective can be beneficial when you’ve got misplacement.
It is important to remember not to accept situations that are intolerable to you or just generally more difficult, that you know will not work. And if you’re already interested in practicing meditation and retreats of various descriptions, those might be places where you can get to make a connection that is a bit better than what you would normally meet.
I think it’s also important to remember that the 12th house is the house of self undoing. So also be aware of the kinds of partners that you do choose. Take the time to really understand who this person is, think of things in terms of more practical compatibility so that you can hopefully mitigate the potential where you’re subconsciously choosing the people that will be undermining you.
And if the ruler of the seventh is both essentially and accidentally debilitated, building a meaningful lasting relationship can be quite difficult. So it is sometimes recommended to lean into other chart factors which are more favorable and certain other rulers can be considered to see if partnership can manifest through another planet’s action.
But some people might find other ways to prioritize things in their life after understanding how their relationship potential might function.
It’s also something we are fond of emphasizing when it comes to astrology – difficult placements don’t necessarily mean bad, so even if it does become more difficult for you to navigate the world of relationships that presents a choice. You can either decide “it’s not for me” but if you do decide to lean into it and make the effort then it can actually be one of the areas where you can develop, grow and get that deeper understanding of yourself than you would otherwise have.
Understanding that is important and just being prepared for the possibility that things might be more challenging is a great way to get you into the right frame of mind, so that you go into it with that acceptance and a willingness to work hard and do whatever is necessary to achieve those desires, those dreams and goals in life.
We wish you a lot of fun relating.